I’ve been Consumed with the diagnosis – it has taken over. With every thought, every breath, every moment, it is always with me. Because of that I’ve been coming from every place of fear and not from love.
Then my friend and I went to see the musical the color purple. My soul soared. My soul opened up and cried and shed fear and fell in love with every performer on that stage who showed all of us God!! Every soul and cell of everyone in that audience that evening was ignited, high on life. We were cheering, shouting, and celebrating life. I felt open, reborn , rejuvenated.
When they sang – look at what God has done! Look at the nature that God has created. The message was loud and clear to me as the character sang: I have everything inside of me to have a magnificent life and a brave life. Floods of tears started and all I wanted to do was to thank the performers for moving me out of fear into love. They shook me out of my place of negativity and being stuck.
For the first time in 12 years I wanted to be up on that stage again. I wanted to perform again to create again. So now I must sing and dance and let my creativity flow. That’s why I am stuck. Because I am not moving and creating and opening up the essence of me. It’s a choking feeling and nothing else can flow or be harmonious because I am not living in balance or harmony.
Also, I lost my way with the spiritual. I know it is living inside of me but I have to connect with it. Really pray to it. Really live it. Not just some of the time but all of the time.
When we are with God we are with ourselves and harmony can be creative and creativity can flow.
Thank you to each of you for your incredible words and world of inspiration. All of you are very dear to me. I read your stories and your words and I am humbled by your love and your life.